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Some days, it runs in his mind, a loop, making him salivate, giving him surges of desire. As soon as the thought arises, sometimes in spite of him, other time through his own desire, he cannot help but be mesmerized, wishing to contemplate endlessly, blushing. Is he blushing from his desire or from the slight shame he feels? Probably both. This particular shame excites him in a peculiar way. What would his wife think? Would she judge him? Was it normal? Would it ever become reality?The image was precise and played on repeat in his mind. Fantasies don’t need context, they exist is the mere repetition of a fragment. Images cut by a strobe light: his wife lustfuly lying on the bed in a crotchless bodysuit – something she wears only for these occasions, so he knows what he’ll have to do. The entire scenario is contained in this piece of lingerie; it is the fragment. It’s a tacit agreement; it activates the fantasy, points towards its imminent and inevitable realization. There is no going. “If I touch you, I'm gonna fuck your brains out.”“Why don't you?!” My voice grew louder again with the desperation.“Because I don't think, I could stop, even if I hurt you”, he whispered and closed his eyes.“If you fuck my brains out, that won't hardly matter”, I retorted dryly, then I bit my lip again. “David”, I sighed, “I can live with pain. I think I can even live with the knowledge, that you can't bear to look at me and we split up, but I can't live like this any longer. Being near you and not getting touched, not...”, my voice trailed off.“Don't leave.” “Only if you stop avoiding me.”His grip on my shoulder tightened, he pulled me close. For the first time in ages he held me. I felt his body pressed against mine, his breath in my hair. David held me in his arms, but only for a short time. Then his hands ran over my body, greedy, hard. I looked up and he kissed me. It was desperate, wanting, and I responded just the same. Moaning in his mouth I closed my eyes. His fingers slid.
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